life

Can’t stop, won’t stop

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After my marathon prep got messed up in 2015, I decided to give up (half) marathons. As I’m getting older and my body is aching much quicker than it used to. I decided it was the smartest thing to do…

But the heart wants, what it wants. Ain’t no arguing with that.

It all started when a friend asked if I wanted to run a half marathon with her. No, I don’t do that anymore!  You know that… The momend I said that, I felt a doubtful feeling coming up. Was I really done with that?

A few weeks later I saw a contest and the big prize was entry and stay at the first half marathon of Disneyland Paris. I really wanted to win. So I did everything I could to win. Unfortunately I didn’t win. But at that moment there was no going back anymore. I HAD to run another half, and I had to run that one!

Luckily my dear running friend wanted to go too. When the entry tickets officially went on sale, we already were too late. Oh nooooo! We really wanted to go! Now what? Because we never quit, we found another way to get our tickets. So, we got in!

Now all we have to do is to keep healthy, injury free and train our asses off! I just can’t wait ro run with Donald, Pluto, Minnie and all the others!

 

 

Getting out there

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Out of your comfort zone, that’s where the magic happens. Even if you suck at it! It sounds so cheesy, but it is the truth. Getting out of your comfort zone is really scary. It’s new, it’s the unknown that makes you feel so very much uncomfortable.

Last January I got out of my comfortzone and it was awesome. I had my very first weightliftmeet and tt was a  ladies only weightliftmeet. I went up there by myself and I didn’t know anyone. Sometimes it’s hard for me to connect with people I don’t know, I can be a bit socially awkward or something.

At first I felt a bit shy, but everyone was feeling a bit nervous and awkward. In no time everyone was talking to one another and we bonded quickly. It was amazing to see how bunch of strange women all together supported and helped eachother at the meet.

Of course I hoped for some PR’s, but it didn’t happen. And that is OK, because I had a wonderful day. I even ended up halfway in the ranking, wich I never expeced. I’m really happy about that. I met some wonderful ladies and I will compete next year! Can not wait to get out of my comfortzone again and again this year.

 

No goals, just recovery

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About five weeks ago I hurt my back again. During my one and only holiday this year. I’m not kidding. Despite my back problems, getting a cold and the rainy weather I really enjoyed my holiday. It felt like holiday, it just felt good. Sea, beach, surfing, yoga, good food, fine wine. I couldn’t wish for more. Well, maybe a bit more sun.

I went to South France in my brand new car with a couple of people I’ve never met before. Kinda scary, but good scary. Sometimes you have to get out of your comfortzone to do really amazing things. Maybe I’ll tell you more about my holiday in an other post.

This year I got injured twice. Not by doing crossfit or what so ever. I noticed, when I wasn’t in my regular training routine, my injuries seem te happen. Lesson learned; no matter how busy, always try to keep my training regime in order.

My goals for the rest of 2015, getting in my old good shape with running and crossfit. First won’t be easy though. Me and running haven’t always been friendly and I still haven’t found my running mojo again. This week I started with doing really short runst, trying get my mojo back.

With weightlifting and crossfit I have to listen to my body really carefully and slowly make it heavier. I also need to add a lot of mobility work for my squat position and the shoulders. And just practice and practice. All I want is to get strong and painfree again. For 2016 more strength and skills and maybe triple unders… No way… LOL

Ps. I’m sorry I’ve been away for so long. But life kinda happened you know.

#last Oslo Diary

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I’v been away too long and I’m so sorry! It has been very busy and really busy and it were challenging times for me. I thought about my running plans a lot. As you know, I’ve been injured for a couple of weeks. Since three weeks I’m allowed to go at it again, not at full throttle, but as much as I can without pain. In those three weeks I’ve went for a small jog only three times. I completely lost my runners mojo. All of a sudden I’m so done with it! I’m not enjoying it anymore, I’m not looking forward to go for a run. Just lost all joy of running.

Why? I don’t know. This year I was at my fastest and strongest running form and after a couple of weeks it was just all gone. Of course you can recover and start all over again, but somehow I just don’t want to do that again. It took me forever to get to that level and for asthmatic people like me it’s even harder to bounce back.

So I decided just to let it go for now, even though it’s not easy. Now I will focus on CrossFit, because I still love to do that. And maybe one day I will recover my runners mojo, but for now CrossFit it is. I canceled my travel plan to Stockholm. I won’t be running my first marathon this year. And it’s totally fine. Watching the Crossfit Games this weekend inspired me to try my hardest and be the best CrossFit athlete I can be. Maybe next I will run a marathon, maybe not. We’ll see!

Along the sideline – #16 Oslo Diary

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This cute dog has nothing to do with this writing, but she’s so cute! Meet Luna, my sisters dog!

What the hell is wrong with me?

Since a week I’ve been sitting on my ass. No runs, no crossfit, no yoga. Because doc said so. When you are used to train like 5 times a week and that part is suddenly missing from your life, it turns your routine upside down. I have plenty of time after work for my writing, study, making music, but the only thing I do, is being a pro couch potatoe. It seems like not training makes me lazy as hell. Not just with hobbies, but also ordered in food for 4 times last 10 days. Normally I do that 4 times a year.

Besides the fact I’m getting lazy as hell, I’m also becoming very restless and annoyed and frustrated. That’s not good for me, but also bad for the people around me. I act like a caged lion. I just don’t know what to do with myself. I never took so many naps as this weekend. I actually needed those naps, but I wouldn’t mind getting some training done. I honestly miss it a lot! Getting out and sweaty. Getting tired and a bit sore. Just that satisfying feeling of physical activity.

It seems I can’t function normal when I can’t train. Can you relate to this? Or am I just a drama queen? I know I can’t complain. It’s just for 2 weeks, at least I hope so. There are lot of people who can’t train at all for years and years. Not just two weeks. So I do feel blessed, I get to do, what I want to do. And these minor injuries really don’t matter compared to that. So I sit this one out and wait patiently. And I will kick myself in the butt and get busy with writing or study or music.

Go me! Go!

Expectations – #14 Oslo Diary

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Library of the Rijksmuseum. Books make me happy.
Library of the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. You know, books just make me happy.

We all have certain expectations in life. About getting a education, a job, raising a family. There is a certain path you supposed to follow and that should be the recipe to happiness. Welcome to my life! 36, still busy getting a degree, I do have a job, but not the one that makes me happy. A family? I don’t even have a pet. According to my expectations I supposed to be so unhappy. Luckily I’m not! Of course I do have bad days and lately I’ve been missing a partner in my life. But that doesn’t mean my life is miserable.

Since my break up last October I have been in a depression off and on. When I was younger I used to be depressed a lot more often. I’m working on it with help from a therapist and it’s getting better and better. This time it was caused by those standard expectations. Doubting myself all the time. I couldn’t see my potential, that standard expectations don’t work for me.  Not everyone goes from A to B in a straight line and there is nothing wrong with that. even though other people say it is wrong, 36, single and no kids, there must be something wrong with you!

There are so many roads to happiness. And I didn’t know this could be possible on my own terms. Lately I’m getting to understand what makes me happy. Getting more and more comfortable with myself. Books make me happy. I love to run even though my pace is very slow, but who cares? I love to write. I love to challenge myself when I do Crossfit. I like it when I get my studybooks, to see all the knowledge I will pump in my brains. I love the physical needs I have and also embrace the geeky part of me. How awesome is that?

Some people figure it out at a much younger age, some people will never figure it out. Wether you are 18 or 80, discover who you are and what makes you happy. You know what makes you happy, when your eyes start to twinkle, when you talk about it. Easy right? You might try it sometime… 😉

Lost that loving feeling – #15 Oslo diary

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Me being hip & happy at musicfestival Pinkpop, without any make up, feels naked though liberating

Since May 26th my running has been very minimal, and Crossfit too. Busy with motor racing, getting a mild bronchitis, going to a 3 day music festival. And in between all those activities being exhausted, very exhausted. Oh and of course working my butt off and studying.  Although I have been doing really awesome stuff, it left my body a mess.

In between my bronchitis and the music festival I managed to run my 4th Ladiesrun, it happened to be my fastest 10K. I really have no idea how I pulled that off, but I did it. But afterwards my hip hurt a little bit. When I went for a run again two days later, again my hip hurt. That’s about 9 days ago and I haven’t run a mile since then. And in 3 days I have my next race, 13,5 K. I really don’t know how to pull that off without hurting my hip again.

Next problem is, my back is giving me a hard time. Well, I gave my back a hard time. If I just stand for an hour or so, my back will start to hurt a bit. If I do that for 3 days, you can imagine how my back feels. My body is not in the best shape right now and I hate that. And I know it’s my own fault. This could a minor problem for my next race too.

I really did enjoy the racing and going to a festival, but the long days, lack of sleep tore up my body. How can I do awesome non-athletic stuff and still maintain my athletic plans? If you know the answer, please let me know. I haven’t figured out how to combine those two things, I both really love.

Besides my minor injuries and being tired all the time, I lost my motivation to run 26.2 miles in Oslo. Yeah, that really sucks. Not that I don’t believe I can do it, but I don’t feel the undying urge anymore to accomplish this. Right I feel like, if I don’t do this, it’s okay too. And I honestly don’t know what to do? If I don’t have a goal I can train for, I’m losing the passion and fun for running. I don’t if it’s because I’m so tired, or of my minor injuries, or maybe I just don’t want to do it anymore. I really don’t know.

I could do it, or just don’t. Maybe I should focus on Crossfit, I don’t know. I just don’t know! Help!

First things first. Next Saturday my last race for now. After that recovery and getting in good shape again. Maybe I know soon enough what to do.