Are our beliefs the absolute truth?
How did we get those beliefs?
And why are false/limiting/old beliefs so tenacious?
Can we change our beliefs for the better?
I watched a motivational video this morning and it made me cry. No worries, every touching video I watch about kittens or puppies make me cry when I just wake up. I don’t wear my real life mental coat yet. So I’m very vulnerable.
Anyway, that motivational video got me thinking. He told quite a harsh story and I was hesitant if I even want to finish the video. He had a very hard youth. With an upbringing of a not very loving father. He always needed to do chores before he could eat breakfast, never get to play ball with his dad. His dad never watched his hockey games, but waited in the car. The boy worked so hard and tried so hard to get his father’s attention, but nothing worked.
I felt so sorry for this boy. He worked his butt off, he tried the best he could and it didn’t work out. I do believe his father loved him, but he probably had a tough upbringing too and didn’t know how to be a father.
Long story short, when he was an adult his father got sick. And he asked his dad on his sick bed, if his dad could think of anything that made him proud. He was sure his dad could think of something, the kid have had his successes.
After thinking for a while, his dad answered: No, I can’t think of anything.
The kid felt like that little kid again all over.
Wow, that’s rough. The adult kid hit rock bottom, no money, divorce, living at his mom place and more of that. He eventually ended up getting a job in real estate working very hard. He knew how to do that, he had been working hard his entire life. His boss told him he admired his work ethic and some other compliments and the adult kid couldn’t recieve them. He still felt like this little kid, who was never got his dad approval, who was never good enough. This was HIS belief. It had been his entire life.
His boss told him, that needed to change as soon as possible. He made him say something like ( I can’t remember it anymore so I’m going to make stuff up now, sorry, but you get the point),I am amazing. He made him say out loud and repeat it several times. He made him say at home when he woke up, when he was getting ready for work. He boss explained, the adult kid still believed he was that little kid that was never good enough and not worthy any attention. This was his belief. But we are like computers we can write ourselves new codes and reprogramm ourselves. By making new beliefs by repeating mantra’s like I am good, I am filled with love. When he started to believe that he was actually amazing, he started saying to himself; I’m gonna be the best real estate agent. And guess what? It did happen of course.
That limiting beliefs that got programmed in our brains by our parents, school, ex-boy/girlfriends, co-workers are persistent and nasty. Because they have been there for so so so long. But when you’re done with those shitty limiting beliefs, you can write new code for your brain and reprogram and repeat until you believe it, until you really feel it deep down in your core.
For example for me it was for a long time: I’m entitled to take up my space. Because I never did that, I was taught to be and feel small.
A few months ago it became: It can be easy and fun. Because I was raised that good things always have to be hard and a struggle.
And now I’m not sure. Sometimes it’s hard to say out loud what you really want, because it is scary. What if I fail? What if people think it’s stupid? But you know what, I am goint to put it out here. Just to let the universe know I’m ready, although still a bit frightened and for some accountability.
My mantra now is: I am a writer and it will bring me wealth. Not sure how it’s going to happen, but just keep writing and this will get clearer.
If someone knows wich video I’m talking about. Please let me know.
Wich limiting beliefs do you have?
And what will be your new one? I really love to read yours.