Slightly sad

Since november 6th I have a small knee injury, it is called a runners knee. I can walk, workout, do weight training, yoga, but after 1,5 km of running, the outside of my knee hurts like crazy. Since a couple of weeks I get treatment by a physiotherapist, I have to do some exercises and a small interval training. I notice each week my stamina is getting worse, my heart rate is going up and after two minutes of running I really need my minute of walking. This is a point where you could just give up and quit running. But I love running, even if I’m not that good at it. Keeps me easy in my head, keeps the extra weight away and it just makes me feel stronger in body and mind.

I have to be honest, I am really dissapointed about my recovery. Actually there is no recovery at all! I see people run everywhere and all I can do is… Nothing. It frustrates me big time. I try to stay in shape with some light weight traing and a little yoga, but still my physical shape isn’t that good anymore. I have to be patient and do my best at therapy, but sometimes I just get too frustrated.  Last time at therapy my knee got even worse than before and I’m afraid it might get worse than before. I know it is nothing compared to losing a limb or something, but I just hate not being able to run for a while.

Worst thing is, I was in my best shape ever in my whole running career.  But the thing in sports is to never give up. To keep going even if you have to cry. even if you’re in pain, even if you don’t want to do it anymore.

Time will tell and I need to be patient.

Wish me luck.




I’m on day 13 of my Project 365. Yes indeed, Friday the 13th.  I really don’t care seeing a black cat or walking under ladders. I might just do it on purpose.

Since yesterday I’m having big trouble getting inspired. If I ask people what to draw, I don’t like their suggestions and my mind feels kind of bored. And that’s my flaw, I get bored way too easily. I lose my focus to quick when things are not challenging anymore. And even my muse of today couldn’t help me out.

If I stick it till day 366, that would be the biggest victory in my whole entire life. Because I know it litterally is going to take blood, sweat and tears. And a lot of perseverance. I wonder if I should allow myself to some alternatives in times I really get bored or really don’t know what to draw. I know I made a commitment to myself to draw something everyday, but also has to be fun, challenging and mind blowing.

It’s hard to shape my own projects, because there so many ways to do things right, but what is my way, to things right. The only way to figure that, is to try and keep trying, and than try again.

Well, I’d better get started on day 13.

Gift wrapped

A gift wrapped book

I was supposed to buy some art supplies for my Project 365 (actually 366 this year), but I ended up in the bookstore. The artshop was closed due to the annual stocktaking. Who still does that anno 2012?

Bookstores are my kryptonite. I just get weak and have no controle over my actions. There are just too many books I want to have. Each book whispers: “Buy me and I will make you happy. I can teach you a lot of new things, show you new worlds beyond your imagination.” How can I resist? I am only human! I have a lot of informative books, I like so many subjects, I just love to learn about a lot of things by reading. Besides that the fact I like to read, I truly heart good filled bookcases. My ultimate dream is to have study with one huge bookcase up to the ceiling with a ladder in a rail, filled with awesome books.

The most silly thing is, whenever I buy books for myself, I have them gift wrapped. I know it’s kind of stupid and I am really way too old for it. But it’s just so nice to unwrap a gift, even if you already know what’s inside. I just get so excited each time I open my own gifts.

So today another present for me! Yay, me happy.

Ps.: If you want to follow my Project 365 please check I started only yesterday, not yet that much to see, but still enjoy!